5 of 9 in Series:
The Essentials of Same-Sex Relationships
When you're a teen or young adult, coming out of the closet as a homosexual can be overwhelming. In some ways, coming out takes three steps — coming out to yourself, to your peers, and to your family. Any single one of those comes with difficulties. As such, it’s important to understand what you may face when you make the decision to live as an openly gay person. Getting through hurdles of coming out will bring you a step closer to being able to celebrate (rather than simply defend) who you are.
The adolescent years are never easy for anyone, but they’re certainly a lot more difficult for gay young people. Not only do gay teens have to confront their own emerging sexuality, which is different from that of most of their peers, but they must then face the rebuke that their sexuality often brings from their immediate families. Revealing one’s homosexuality is never easy — for young or old — but the process can be particularly difficult for teens, who are dependent on their families and have not yet established their own private lives with their own place to live and a job to provide financial support.
The rates of suicide for young homosexuals are much higher than for heterosexuals of the same age, in great part because many can’t cope when faced with rejection from their families. If you are a parent faced with a teenager who is coming out of the closet, remember that your support can be crucial for your child.
No two families react the same way when a son or a daughter comes out of the closet.
Some parents may have suspected their child’s homosexual orientation for a while and learned to accept it, so they have a general sense of relief that the subject is out in the open.
Other parents react very negatively, upset that many of their expectations for their child — the traditional heterosexual marriage followed by grandchildren — have suddenly disappeared. They may also react negatively, in part because they feel that their child’s homosexuality reflects badly on them (and the way they raised that child) in the eyes of the rest of the family as well as friends and neighbors.
In some families, the reaction is split, with one parent accepting the son or daughter’s announcement and the other going so far as to cut off all contact.
Teens should understand that being a parent isn’t easy, and because the expectations of most parents are turned topsy-turvy by the announcement that their child is gay, it’s normal for them to have some mixed emotions in the beginning. Getting past those feelings and working with your parents, and perhaps a counselor, to rebuild family unity is the key, and preparation is key. If you’re forewarned about how your family may react, and have been told ways to handle these reactions, you’re much more likely to end up being accepted by your family.
One new way of discussing the topic that is helping many teens come out are Internet chat rooms. Using this method of communication, teens can find out about the gay lifestyle without having to reveal their own identity to their real life family and friends until they’re ready to do so.
If you are gay and who haven’t revealed your sexual identity to your family, find a counselor who has worked with other gay people facing this problem to give you guidance. The counselor’s experience in this area can be invaluable to you in obtaining the best possible results from your circumstances.
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Source:http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-reveal-your-sexual-orientation-as-a-teen.html
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