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What Not to Say to Children about Sex

10 of 10 in Series:
The Essentials of Talking to Children about Sex

Parents can make all kinds of mistakes, but they may not realize the seriousness of the mistakes having to do with sex. Try to analyze your behavior around your children from their point of view. You communicate to your child in many ways, and that communication always has an effect, even if you don’t realize it. So watch what you do and say in front of your children.

Don’t pull away. Some fathers don’t know what to do when their daughters start to develop. The little girl who used to cuddle with her daddy starts to fill out, and physical signs of affection might feel inappropriate. When that happens, the father pulls away and starts to treat his daughter as just another woman and not his little girl.

If that happens, the daughter will feel hurt and confused. What did she do wrong? She may even start to look elsewhere for someone to provide the physical affection her father withdrew. Others think of their new bodies as ugly because Daddy rejected them, and they crawl into a shell. Neither reaction is good, and that’s why dads have to be careful how they treat their daughters.

Acknowledge individuality. Remember to limit your comments about dating choices. Some men may encourage their sons to be sexually active as a rite of passage that they missed out on. Or perhaps parents might discourage their daughters from dating at all. For parents who weren’t popular in high school, it can be exciting to see your child blossom into the student body president, and then to continually ask about who your child is dating.

Remember that the more you impose a certain behavior, the more likely you will push away your child. Forcing a behavior can also force resentment, and previous closeness can disappear. Your child won’t want to talk about relationships, and certainly won’t want to bring any dates around the house.

Condoms don’t make you a good parent. It’s smart to encourage safer sex, but giving your child condoms may not be a good idea. If you think you will constantly count the condoms and then quiz your child about them, it might be better to forgo this step.

Condoms are easy to buy these days, but your child’s trust is not. If your child thinks that the only reason you stored those condoms was to catch him or her using them, then you may seriously damage your relationship with that child.

If you have difficulties doing this but suspect that you may be making some mistakes, do some research for information in the areas where you have some concern.

Although sex makes it easy to become parents, it doesn’t make us experts at parenting. But you can discover how to be a better parent, and doing so is definitely worth the effort.

dummies

Source:http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/what-not-to-say-to-children-about-sex.html

How to Notify Trust Beneficiaries

If the creator of a trust fails to notify the beneficiaries of the existence of this trust during his or her lifetime, then the administrator of his or her estate must notify them. Establish a reliable line of communication with each beneficiary and get his or her address, Social Security number, and birth date. This information will help you properly file taxes and create an appropriate payout schedule for the trust.

There are no formal steps to follow when notifying beneficiaries. Give the beneficiary all of your contact info and urge him or her to contact you as soon as possible. You cannot begin making distributions until you’ve set up a reliable form of communication with the beneficiary. Once you do make contact with the beneficiary, there is some necessary information that you will need to retrieve from him or her.

Tax reporting information: Obtain addresses and Social Security numbers

You need to obtain the beneficiary’s address and Social Security Number (SSN). Beneficiary payments will probably contain elements of taxable income. Because he or she must pay the tax on that income, you shouldn’t make any payments without obtaining tax reporting information upfront.

You can’t force a beneficiary to give you his or her SSN, and you can’t withhold payments indefinitely. If you’ve made distributions without first receiving the beneficiary’s SSN, you may be forced to file a tax return for the trust, Form 1041, that is incomplete.

File the return anyway, making sure that you include as much information, such as the beneficiary’s address, as you can on Schedule K-1. If you can show the IRS you made a concerted attempt to obtain the information, you should be off the hook for filing an incomplete return.

Verify beneficiary's date of birth

You need to know the beneficiary’s birth date. Many trusts are created with payout schedules based on ages. As trustee, you need to know when the beneficiary has reached a certain age and adjust the mandatory payments accordingly.

Knowing the beneficiary’s age also helps you choose appropriate investments, allowing you to minimize certain types of income when the beneficiary is in a higher tax bracket. If a beneficiary is under the age of 19 (24, if a college student), he or she may be subject to the Kiddie Tax on investment income, which charges tax on the child’s income at his or her parents’ highest applicable rate.

All income received from a trust may be subject to this additional tax. After the beneficiary has left college and is earning, you can then change the investment mix to one that produces more income taxed at a lower rate.