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Confidence For Dummies

Core Indicators of Confidence

Use the ten core indicators of confidence in the following list to act as your checklist whenever you feel you need a confidence boost. Use them to pinpoint where you may be stuck, to help you move on.

Direction and values: You know what you want, where you want to go,and what’s really important to you.

Motivation: You are motivated by and enjoy what you do. In fact, you’re likely to get so engrossed in what you’re doing that nothing distracts you.

Emotional stability: You have a calm and focused approach to how you are yourself and how you are with other people as you tackle challenges. You notice difficult emotions such as anger and anxiety, but you work with them rather than letting them overcome you.

A positive mind-set: You have the ability to stay optimistic and see the bright side even when you encounter setbacks. You hold a positive regard for yourself as well as other people.

Self-awareness: You know what you are good at, how capable you feel, and how you look and sound to others. You also acknowledge that you are a human being, and you don’t expect to be perfect.

Flexibility in behaviour: You adapt your behaviour according to circumstances. You can see the bigger picture as well as paying attention to details.You take other people’s views on board in making decisions.

Eagerness to develop: You enjoy stretching yourself, treating each day as a learning experience, rather than acting as if you are already an expert with nothing new to find out. You take your discoveries to new experiences.

Health and energy:You’re in touch with your body, respect it, and have a sense that your energy is flowing freely. You manage stressful situations without becoming ill.

A willingness to take risks: You have the ability to act in the face of uncertainty – and put yourself on the line even when you don’t have the answers or all the skills to get things right.

A sense of purpose: You have an increasing sense of the coherence of the different parts of your life.You have chosen a theme or purpose for your life.

Becoming the Confident Hero in Your Own Life

Most people think of a ‘hero’ as someone born with extraordinary bravery and charisma. Yet, a real-life hero is just like you – someone who faces regular choices of right over wrong, going forwards with confidence or shrinking back in fear. To become the hero in your own life, follow these steps:

Decide that you are going to take on personal change to enable you to achieve the things you want in life, and get into action.

Decide where it is you are going, or what it is that you really want.

Plan your work and work your plan.

Don’t compete; create!

Pay attention to your lessons before you apply them.

View the world as a whole.

Listen to your inner coach.

Appearing Confident

Ever heard the phrase ‘fake it ’til you make it’? When you appear confident, other people react differently to you. Begin by paying attention to people who behave in a confident way and try the attitude on for yourself. Here’s how:

Go to a crowded place.

Look around until you spot someone who appears confident to you.

Analyse what it is that makes you thinkthat they’re confident.

Consider how you can imitate or incorporate these qualities in your own behaviour.

Checking Your Integrity to Improve Your Confidence

The single most powerful step you can take to improve your confidence and power in the world is to restore your integrity. This checklist identifies ways that you can leak personal power and confidence and how you can build reserves.

Each time you do this, you increase your personal power and confidence	Each time you do this, you reduce your personal power and confidence
Honour your word and keep your promises	Fail to back up your words with actions
Be honest with yourself and honest with others	Act or speak in a way that causes real harm to others
Accept people as they are and judge only their actions	Act superior to others or browbeat someone weaker than yourself
Treat others with respect and candour	Fail to act right because no one is watching
Let people know where you stand on important issues	Don’t give of your best
Be genuine and transparent with people; don’t deceive through silence or inaction	Don’t follow your own conscience
Be true to your values and purpose	Don’t practise what you preach
Live up to your standards and always do the right thing	Manipulate or mislead others (or yourself)
Admit and accept your own mistakes	Tell white lies to look good, or to avoid looking bad
Say what you mean, and mean what you say	Use bluff or bluster to get your own way
Walk your talk	Pretend to be anything other than your authentic self

Breaking the Gridlock for Confident Action

You may find yourself stuck in the X then Y gridlock scenario in which your conversation is all around ‘I can’t do X until I’ve done Y’. Lack of time, money, and energy are common reasons but not the only reasons people get stuck. Breaking the pattern involves breaking a job into smaller steps, like this:

Put asidethe idea that you don’t have enough time, money, or energy – assume that the lack of any or all these elements is not the real problem.

Imagine that you are rich enough in time, money, or energy.

State your goal or dream in a positive way and write it down.

For example, ‘I want to move to a cottage by the sea’.

Ask yourself Question 1: ‘Can I do it today?’

If your answer is ‘yes’, then everything is in place. Hey presto, your dream is complete! However, if your answer is ‘no’ – and this is the most likely scenario – then proceed to Step 4.

Ask yourself Question 2: ‘What needs to happen first?’

Break out all the separate tasks you need to do to accomplish your goal.

In the example of the house by the sea, the tasks can divide into three main activities: researching the location, finding a more flexible job, and getting the family’s agreement.

Loop around the questions in Steps 3 and 4 for each task.

Ask yourself Question 1 – ‘Can I do it today?’ – and if the answer is ‘no’, then go on to Question 2 – ‘What needs to happen first?’ – until you arrive at a list of activities that you can either do today or that you’ve negotiated with yourself to do on a set date that you write in your diary.

Casting Off Your Cloak of Invisibility at Work

More often than not, the reason nobody acknowledges the great job you’re doing at work is because your colleagues are too busy worrying about their own roles. Seize the opportunity to take powerful action to bring your excellent work to the attention of your boss and colleagues with the following formula.

Ask your boss to define exactly what she wants from you in order for you to get a five-star annual appraisal.

Ask the same question of other people who depend on you or who are affected by your performance.

Pull it all together into job objectives that you can realistically achieve.

Spell out what you feel you can reliably deliver to your boss, colleagues, and customers.

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Source:http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/confidence-for-dummies-cheat-sheet.html

Reading Your Parrot's Body Language

Learning to recognize your parrot's healthy body language will help you know when he is feeling fine or when he's ill, as well as when he wants attention or food. It will also help you avoid receiving a nasty bite.

Most parrots are an open book in terms of body language. Once you know the signs, it's not difficult to tell when your bird is happy, sleepy, terrified, or simply excited just by noticing his stance.

Flapping wings: Clipped parrots will often hang on to a perch, the side of the cage, or a dowel on a playgym and flap, flap, flap away. Flapping is exercise for your companion parrot and can indicate that he needs a little more activity or wants your attention.

Crest position: Cockatoos, cockatiels, and hawkheaded parrots have a wonderful way of showing you how they feel: a head crest (shown in Figure 1). When the crest is mostly back, with just the tip of it sticking up, the bird is generally going about her business, content and relaxed. When you're playing with her, she may lift her crest, excited by playtime or something new and interesting. If the crest is standing high at attention, it's an indication of excitement or fear. An absolutely terrified cockatoo or cockatiel will slick her crest down flat and may also crouch and hiss.

Figure 1: For cockatoos, cockatiels, and hawkheaded parrots, raising the head crest can mean excitement, fear, and joy, among other things.

Fluffing and ruffling: Parrots will perform a quick feather ruffle to release tension, much like when humans take a quick moment to lean back and stretch before we go on to the next task. Parrots also fluff their feathers after a preening session so that all of the particles of dirt they have just removed will fall away. You may notice a fine dust of powder emanating from your bird after he does this, especially if you have a grey, a cockatoo, or a cockatiel. A parrot that stays fluffed for a longer period of time may be chilled or not feeling well.

The "please" dance: A parrot that wants attention will clamber around the cage near the door and may sit right in front of the door, moving his head back and forth. This means he wants out. If he does the please dance while he's out, he wants your attention or something you have.

Head down: If your bird is used to being scratched on the head or neck, she may put her head down and ruffle her feathers, giving you the perfect spot to scratch.

The attack stance: Displays of aggression can be normal at times for a companion parrot, though they can be unpleasant. Many aggressive displays are merely posturing. A bird would much rather fly from a fight than actually engage in one, unless it's defending its nest. Unfortunately for the companion parrot, there is often no place to escape, and the aggression must be acted upon. Aggressive postures include fanning of the tail; crouching or standing tall and swaying from side to side with the crest held tightly back; hissing and spitting; fluffing the back feathers; and crouching with the beak open, ready to pounce and bite (as shown in Figure 2).

Figure 2: This African grey is in "attack" stance. Avoid putting your fingers in his face at this time.

Stretching: Parrots stretch for the same reasons people do, to lubricate our joints, to release tension, and primarily because stretching feels good. You may notice your parrot stretching one wing and one leg on the same side of his body at the same time. This classic birdy stretch that resembles something from yoga called mantling.

Bowing and bobbing: Bowing and bobbing is an attention-getting technique used by tame parrots. It can become a neurotic behavior for a constantly caged parrot. Also, ill parrots bow and bob, so you'll have to watch your bird carefully to distinguish an attention-getting strategy from illness.

Head shaking: Some parrots, particularly African greys, shake their heads as if there's water in the ears. No one really knows why they do this, and it seems to be normal. If your bird is doing this a lot, it may be a sign of an ear or nasal infection.

Leaning forward, wings shaking: If the wings are quivering, and the bird is staring at you, it's about to launch itself at you. This is typical "I'm going to fly!" posture.

Quivering wings: A parrot that's shivering or has quivering wings may be frightened, overly excited, or in breeding mode.

Beak language: An open beak, crouched posture, and hissing or yelling is prime biting posture. This is a frightened or displaying parrot.

Potty language: Backing up a step or two or crouching on the perch, lifting tail, and even making a little noise. You can catch "poop posture" before the poop happens and move the parrot to another place if you want him to poop elsewhere.

Chicken scratching: African greys and sometimes other parrots will "chicken scratch" at the bottom of their cage or on the carpet. Greys in particular do this because digging is part of their natural wild behavior. If you don't mind the mess, you can give your grey a sandbox (or litter box) to play in, using clean sand from the toy store.

Eye pinning (dilate/contract pupils): A parrot whose pupils are pinning in and out is excited and may be in bite mode. Some parrots do this when they're excited about something they like, such as a new toy or good food.

Wing drooping: Wing drooping can be part of a mating dance, but in a listless bird, it can indicate illness.

Wing flipping: A parrot will flip its wings up and down to indicate frustration, get attention, or indicate aggression. It may also happen during molting, when it's trying to align new feathers or get rid of old ones that may be hanging or ready to fall out.

Blushing: Some parrots blush — the blue and gold and the Buffon's macaws, for example. It's not for the same reason that humans blush, however. It's more about excitement and mating ritual.

Back down, feet up: Some parrots play on their backs. If the bird isn't breathing and is stiff . . . well, get the shoebox ready.

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dummies

Source:http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/reading-your-parrots-body-language.html