How to Come Out of the Closet as an Adult

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The Essentials of Same-Sex Relationships

Coming out of the closet as a homosexual can be daunting, even for adults. Most gay adults come out to a potential sex partner first, which can be very scary. What if that person turns out to be straight? Rejection is always traumatic, but especially if the other person is actually repulsed by the offer, as a straight person approached sexually by someone of their own sex often is.

Eventually, most gay people meet others who share their lifestyle, and the support that they get from others helps them to then declare their sexual orientation to their families and friends. If you are looking for support from other homosexuals, you may want to consider Internet chat rooms. Teens in particular have often used this method of communication to find out about the gay lifestyle without having to reveal their own identity until they’re ready to do so.

Coming out in your profession or on the job can be much more risky. Openness about one’s sexual orientation doesn’t always translate well in the business world. Because of this, many gay people who don’t hide their status at home are very careful about whom they tell at the office. Some companies won’t hire a homosexual simply because of the strain that a potentially HIV-positive person may put on their health benefits program. In other cases, some employers are becoming less tolerant of their homosexual employees, either because of their own fear of AIDS or because of a concern that their other employees may react negatively. Even though this discrimination is often illegal, it doesn’t stop it from occurring, no matter how abhorrent.

Because a gay person can never know exactly what the outcome of his or her coming out will be, the decision is always a heavy burden. If everything goes right, gay men and women may feel as though a tremendous weight has been lifted from their shoulders because they no longer have to lead dual lives. On the other hand, if they end up losing contact with certain family members and friends or losing their job, many people may find the loss a heavy price to pay for admitting their true identity. In these cases, it’s important to find a support network and/or a counselor.

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